As one who has braved 
JDate,  aka desperatehebrews.com, I know why the caged bird swings in hope. The  
New York Review of Books and the 
London Review of Books provide  opportunities for the bookish and alone to meet. But Americans and  British have completely different styles when it comes to personal ads. 
We Americans commodify and market ourselves  with can-do! go-get 'em! spirit that weighs heavily. We're singing the  lyrics from Best Foot Forward  to the tune of Sinatra's One For My  Baby, One More For the Road, a torch song beneath the bright,  snappy prose composed to wring assets out wishful-thinking during an  economic downturn that appears to have placed verbiage with cash in  inverse ratio. These people are just too marvelous for words but that  doesn't stop them. The format appears to be designed to maximize sales. 
The British? Brief, to  the point, no B.S., self-deprecating and delightful.Their spirit?  Bollocks and piss off if you don't like me or my ad. 
NYRB:  EASYGOING ALLURE, bright smile, and dash of mischief.  Slender, athletic, adventurous. Very nice-looking with passion for the  outdoors and for keeping our planet healthy: hiking, skiing,  snowshoeing, investigating nature, buying/eating locally, respecting the  environment, working with Heifer Project International, Habitat for  Humanity, Red Cross Relief. Lighthearted, curious, sensual. Widow, lives  in the Rockies, ties to East Coast. Loves art, music, dogs,  gardening--though welcomes help from others, does best with cacti.  Gravitates to travel that involves learning--Nepal, Morocco, Turkey,  language study in Paris. Would love to hike Switzerland, discover more  of New Zealand, do service project, or just hang out together at home  with bright, active, fit man with residence west of Mississippi River,  56-74. 
LRB: Cantab  pair (M 22, F 21) seeks clever F (40 - 50) to share ideas & bed. 
NYRB:  PASSIONATE ARTIST; lovely, thoughtful, sensual, successful painter.  Local exhibitions--landscapes, seascapes, street scenes, paintings that  tell stories. Happiest painting outside, indoors only when weather  insists. Naturally slender, athletic, divorced, good-looking with  mischievous spark. Enjoys ideas, photography, Monhegan, Provence  painting trips, NPR, books, DVDs, skiing, planning dinners with  interesting mix of friends. Loves ease, conviviality of eating  out--intimate conversation across the table, no planned agendas, someone  else to cook/do dishes. Easygoing, relaxed. Works to make the world  better and greener place, attends Bioneers conference annually. Lives  wonderful life just missing someone special--friendly, fit, active,  Mass./Rhode Island-area man, 57 to 72. 
 LRB: Let's put our dentures in  the same glass. I'm alive. You be too.  Pacemaker a  plus. Opioids even better. M, 74. 
NYRB: AMERICAN GIRL-NEXT-DOOR, blonde good looks. Really  pretty, smart, sensual, non-workaholic CEO--known for insightful  irreverence, quick mind, and ever-present dash of self-deprecating  humor. Slender and active with true explorer's spirit, be it exploring  around the corner or the world. Easygoing, genuinely warm, classy,  intellectual, not dry or stuffy, just the real deal. Passions include:  photography, travel (just returned from Egypt, Jordan), weekends in  Maine, literature, movies, music (especially Latin and World), cooking,  discovering great neighborhood restaurants. Would love to meet  co-conspirator, 50-65, bright, active, cosmopolitan man. 
LRB:  Attractive F, 32, seeks M, of a not too dissimilar age, who smells nice,  dresses well & is good at sex. But must not be a cock. London.
NYRB: THE REAL DEAL--classy,  confident, and really cute Ph.D. Sensual and stylish, sweet and  successful, Boston-based. Brains, looks, and a great sense of fun.  Toned, fit, romantic, blonde. Proactive, easygoing, generous, yet no  tolerance for injustice or arrogance. Traveler, writer, adventurer--can  never get enough of Paris, San Miguel, Puerto Escondido (dreams of one  day speaking Spanish fluently), fantasizes about visiting Rome or  exploring Outer Banks with special man. Fan of political humor,  legislative policy, jazz clubs, Prosecco, fiction, New York weekends,  Central Park, fireworks on the Esplanade. Appreciative of talent, be it  sports, theater, music. Seeks bright, passionate, active man, 50-early  70s.
LRB:  Inelegant. Seeks same. Be my soul/slob-mate. F (42) seeks M (35-55) or  best excuse for one. 
NYRB:  IMMEDIATELY LIKABLE. Intelligence and sensuality. Known for great  figure, shy beauty, infectious laugh, dedication to improving the lot of  those less fortunate. Documentary film producer, photographer,  accomplished professional. Warmth, passion, whimsical sparkle, and most  of all--fun. Politically left, team player, former race car driver,  maintains motorcycle license. Divorced, proud of Fulbright scholar son.  Fan of in-depth travel, Connecticut seacoast house, biking, scuba,  science, great food, entertaining friends/family, Morocco, Italy,  opera/chamber music, though despite hours listening still can't "name  that tune". Learning Spanish. Excited by work in Oaxaca, preserving and  exhibiting work of local artisans. Seeks smart, sociable, attractive,  active man--50-68. 
NYRB: BRIGHT, CAPTIVATING,  affectionate artist and outdoor adventurer. Graceful, natural athlete,  leggy slim figure, easygoing, great looks, 49. International experience  and sophistication yet deep roots in New England with the best of its  philosophy and love of its landscape and light. Mischievous and genuine,  sexy and comfortable with herself. Loves challenge of the elements:  downhill skiing, sailing, hiking, breathtaking views. Passionate about  photography, architecture, Maine, Japan (spent 3 years there),  spur-of-the-moment fun, the environment. Authentic and game. Contributes  to the community, sits on boards. Improvisational cook. Seeks kind,  hearty, secure, worldly, competent man, 45-57--mature yet young at  heart, Boston/New England-area. 
LRB: Two hefty, tattooed Brighton  skinheads, 43/45. One writes, one reads. Want uncensored sex with  bookish blokes who like rough drafts.
  I rest my case.
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