Thursday, February 2, 2012

Librarian by Day, Nude Butler by Night

by Stephen J. Gertz

Russell Davies, a 28-year old a librarian at Hartshill Library, in Nuneaton, Warwickshire, U.K., assists the bookworm in need while fully clothed. By night, he assists on the domestic front serving the needs of ladies seeking a little fun.

He's The Naked Butler.

In a great example of pretzel-logic, he says that he knew he could be an excellent nude butler after he trained as a wrester at the Ultimate Pro Wrestling Training School here in the U.S.A. We thus learn why the P.G. Wodehouse characters got along - Jeeves never put the Tilt-a-Whirl Crossbody Press on Bertie. It just isn't done.

It's the skimpy outfits, Russell says.

He, until recently, kept his nocturnal vocation a secret from his boss and colleagues at the library.

“They were all pretty shocked. But it was fine. I haven’t told my parents what I do. I think my mum wouldn’t like it but they live Spain.”

He works ladies "hen" parties, which he says can get pretty wild. Let's face it: the Dewey Decimal System is not for kids. Older women are generally the randiest. "Sometimes the women will be screaming. They do try to pinch your bum."

His girlfriend doesn't mind. She's Jemma Palmer, aka Gladiator Inferno, a wrestling star. It is unclear whether she serves as Sergeant-At-Arms while Russell services. Someone's got to referee when the ladies put the Body Avalanche on him.

Next time you visit your local library, should the Reference Desk librarian sport a mohawk and split the seams of his Keep Calm and Carry On T-shirt, do not be alarmed. Be good.  You may be served champagne. Be rude and it's the Leapfrog Body Guillotine for you.

"Hat's off to Russell," a library patron exclaims. "I've hired
him for my Friday night book club. Fine condition in handsome
binding, and a colophon that won't quit.

"And the book isn't bad, either."


Full story at Sunday Mercury.

Thanks to LISNews for the lead.

Image courtesy of Buff Naked Butlers, with our thanks.

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