Thursday, July 1, 2010

Booktryst's Oddball Book News Round-Up

 Anti-School Bookmarks Found In Library Books

Thousands of books on the shelves of public libraries in Portsmouth, Dover, and University of New Hampshire have been invaded by anti-public school themed bookmarks inserted by the School Sucks Project and Freedomain Radio, groups that are fiercely opposed to government-funded education in the United States. It is presumed that members of each group came from wealth and attended private schools that taught them to read and later distain public schools. Read it to believe it!

Beware, Naked Cheese Thief In Library Restroom

A fifty-two year old man was arrested for taking a bath in the restroom of the Main Branch of the Cincinnati Library. He was armed with knives - and four pounds of stolen Parmesan cheese; whether domestic or imported remains unknown. The knives' purpose, apparently, was to help cut the cheese. When have men ever needed a knife to cut the cheese in a bathroom? Read it to believe it!

Gen. Stanley McChrystal To Open Old Book Shop?

We've previously reported on very recently retired Gen. Stanley McChrystal's fondness for books and old book shops. Now, it seems, he may be contemplating a second career as perilous as his first: Opening an old and rare book shop. Should he have been given a Section Eight discharge? Will his black-ops experience help? (Probably). Blow taps for the General then read it to believe it!

 Note To Fans: No More Hauling Your Ashes To Jane Austen House

Louise West, the Jane Austen House Museum's collections manager, has had it with fans who wish to eternally rest at the residence of the undead-always-read authoress. "While we understand many admirers of Jane Austen would love to have ashes laid here, it is something we do not allow. It is distressing for visitors to see mounds of human ash, particularly so for our gardener..." But from such natural, nutrient-rich fertilizer roses shall bloom! This is not exactly news but the message  is  immortal. Read it to believe it! 


Judge Throws Book At Felon With Sentence To Write One - And Pay A Fine!

Cruel And Unusual Punishment Dept.: When former Big Pharma exec Dr. Andrew G. Bodnar plead guilty to making false statements to the Feds re: a patent dispute over the blood-thinner, Plavix, the judge in the case sentenced him to two years probation, fined him $5,000, and ordered him to write a book about life in legal drugs and this case in particular as a cautionary tale. Usually, when one has to pay $5,000 to write a book, it's called vanity publishing. Or, alas, scholarship. Read it to believe it!

Booktryst readers are encouraged to submit odd, strange, bizarre, or just plain weird book news leads to our Metro Desk.

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